Loving me is hard. I’m no stranger to that idea. I often pull away from people because I feel like a burden in their life. And though sometimes the other person doesn’t see it that way at all, other times it really is the way things are going. It’s incredibly frustrating to have to constantly remind yourself that you’re enough, that they love you, that this won’t last forever. But I understand why I have to constantly go through the pep talks and the pick me ups. So for someone who doesn’t have depression or anxiety, I know it’s that much more frustrating. And I hate that I become an annoyance, a child who constantly questions every move you make. So I pull away.
The hardest thing is to try and explain depression to someone who doesn’t have it. It’s not your fault. My dry expression, my snippy comments, my disinterest in what you have to say, the desire to stay away and holed up in a dark room. None of that is your doing and it’s not your job to fix it. Yes, it is nice to have the person that waits the storm out with you, but I will never ask that of anyone because it’s a destructive position.
That being said, other people have gone down that path and have the words that I don’t. Amylynnrand hits the nail on the head with this article. So for those that are struggling to understand the person your heart yearns for, or the friend you desperately want to help, click the link below and read what she has to say. I promise, we’re trying.