Dear Men

Sexual harassment is real and it is never, under any circumstances, ok. Women are not toys. Women are not objects. Women are not a piece of meat. We are human beings who deserve the same respect you, as men, are so quick to demand. 

My tattoos are not in existence to elicit sexual comments or attention from men. My breasts are not in existence to elicit sexual comments or attention from men. The curves of my hips are not something I asked for. I didn’t ask for you to make me feel like I’m naked, exposed, and vulnerable in a room full of people. 

My tattoos are marks of victory. My tattoos are reminders of strength and beauty. My tattoos mean something to me and I will not let your disgusting, perverse, puny little mind turn them into something I regret. My breasts are meant to feed my son, nothing more and nothing less. They are a means to take care of my child. They are not to be sexualized, especially by a stranger. My hips are a result of bringing a new life into this world. A life that I will teach to be the man God intends for him to be, and to respect women as the beautiful creatures God made them to be. I will not let you belittle me. I will not let you take away what I fought so fucking hard to be able to do. I will not let you turn my skin into something I wish I could scrub away. 

But I do. I stand in the shower and your face flashes in my mind and I feel like I could vomit. I scrub and scrub and scrub and still I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I feel this overwhelming need to hide and cover up and no matter how baggy my clothes are or how much of my skin is covered it doesn’t feel like enough. And I hate you for making me feel this way. 

My immediate reaction to this man’s behavior was “Maybe that’s what I get for wearing this shirt.” 

Maybe this was my fault. 

But it damn sure isn’t my fault. It’s not my responsibility to control someone else’s mind or their tongue. I was dressed professional. I was dressed modest. I did not deserve to be spoken to or looked at like I was meant to be a sex toy. No one does. 

I have so many thoughts bouncing around in my mind that I have no clean way to end this. I’m simply disgusted. 

Treat people with respect, y’all. XOXO ❤️

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Joel says:

    Fair enough. There are a lot of guys out there who stare at women and make them feel uncomfortable. I see your point. I think most men feel that attraction to women but obviously you need to be respectful and polite about it. It’s good to hear a Women’s perspective on it. It makes me re-assess how I am around women. Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂

    Like

    1. I’ve never seen anyone ask to see a tattoo of mine and be outright disrespectful about it. I have one along my collar bone and instead of “oh that’s nice.” or “what’s the meaning behind it?” or even “wow that was a stupid decision.” I got “oh good and I get to look at your body!” By a man who could have easily been my grandfather. Some people may not feel like that’s a huge deal but I immediately felt like I needed to shower and throw five sweaters on. Then the more I thought about it, it pissed me off that my initial thought was that I deserved it. Because I didn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Joel says:

    That is clearly inappropriate to me. Guys like that are obviously terrible with women if that’s how they approach you. I can understand how it would make you feel that way because of how he acted towards you. Guys like that give us good guys a bad name!! I hope you don’t have to experience anything like that again.

    Like

  3. Joel says:

    I’m no angel but I know I treat women with respect for the most part. I try my best to anyway.

    Like

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