A Different Kind of Christmas

I’ve got a pretty good buzz going right now. So I figure now is as good a time as any to think about how different this year has been.

A clusterfuck of chaos, I believe is what most would refer to it as.

I had a whole entry planned for tonight. Christmas lights, watching my sweet one in awe of everything going on. Which I still want to write about. I love that tiny human more than I know how to express. But the more I think about everything else the more I shut down. Absent brother, a cousin coming in and filling the protective family role. A husband who wants nothing more than to make me happy but instead has to hold me while I sob uncontrollably because my brother is a liar. A lost, absent liar.

I’m tired of writing about him. About how stupid he is and about how much he’s emotionally destroyed my mom. How he may as well have spit in the face of the man who bent over backwards to raise him to know what a true, loving, father is.

So whatever. No more. He’ll come home when he’s ready, I suppose.



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